Sydney P.O.S.H. Hash Run Report
Run No: 2493
At: Manly 16ft Skiff Club
On Inn: Manly 16ft Skiff Club
Hare: WHITE SH*T & CENTREPOINT (joint run POSH)
RUN REPORT by (Purportedly Ornate, Supposedly Hash)
Hares: Allegedly Competent
Weather: Perfect – which made everything else harder to excuse
Trail Quality: Existential
Vibe: Beige with aspirations
We assembled at the prescribed start – a location clearly chosen for its excellent parking and complete lack of danger, boldly signalling the day’s theme: adventure by committee. Chalk was sighted early, faintly, and occasionally – like a shy native animal – usually already trampled by the front runners who assured us it was “very true hash.”
The pack set off at a brisk but emotionally distant pace, punctuated by long, reflective checks clearly designed to encourage introspection, silence, and the quiet resignation that yes, this was the trail. Beer checks appeared strategically placed just far enough apart to keep morale hovering slightly below optimism, stocked with refreshments chosen for their nutritional neutrality and absence of joy.
At no point was the pack frightened, surprised, or confused – an impressive logistical achievement if not exactly in the spirit of hashing. Trails were straight where they should have been cunning, obvious where they could have been devious, and devious only in the sense that one occasionally wondered why.
The run unfolded with the disciplined inevitability of a corporate fun day. Jokes were made respectfully. Mud was avoided. Rules were obeyed. Someone was definitely timing something.
The author assumes at some point the suggestion of “having joint runs somewhere more central” was put, only to hear, “that wouldn’t be approved,” which historians agree has never improved a hash.
The verbal report from Lost in Fourskin later raised the provocative question of whether P.O.S.H. stands for Piece of Shit Hash. This report prefers a kinder interpretation: Polite, Orderly, Sanitised Hash – a space where no one gets lost, no one gets wet, and no one has to explain themselves to a ranger, partner, or conscience.
Circle commenced promptly, efficiently, and with minutes to spare. Offences were noted, acknowledged, and resolved with minimal enthusiasm. Songs were sung – competently – and humour was delivered with the gentle caution of people who might know each other professionally.
In summary: the Sydney Posh Hash run delivered exactly what it promised, even if no one was quite sure what that was. Safe. Competent. Entirely survivable. A run that will not be remembered – but will also never need explaining. On on (but not too far),
On On
Your Faithful, Slightly Under‑whelmed Scribe 🍻
Received from an anonymous source.
Hi Fetchit,
I take it that you will not get a run report from last night so I thought I’d put a few words together.
In spite of the location with no parking and a WTF from the Larrikin’s scribe, about 60 hashers turned up. The run was very scenic taking the 10 runners with Larrikin regulars including Starboard, Bejesus, Lost in Fourskin, He’ll Do, Super Squatter and Paralytic towards the old quarantine station and into Sydney Harbour National Park. After some long stretches with no breaks, the trail out of the park reached a locked gate.
It looked like it was going to be in effect, an unintentional and very long on back but Lost In Fourskin demonstrated his misspent youth skills by picking the lock (does he have a criminal record?) much to the relief of the runners.
At the bucket, Posh again demonstrated the limited choice with mostly light and zero beers available (don’t they know it is a drinking club?) and as usual, the beers ran out long before the circle was over. It was all too much for Lost In Fourskin. He took the huff, leaving early and staying that he’s never coming back to Posh run again.
